If I were to write a novel, it would probably resemble a little bit of Nicholson Baker’s work, just as it would resemble other influences. I single out Baker’s work because of the situation I am in.
I am at the Cafe Coffee Day franchise in the Institute and I have just ordered a cup of elaichi tea. Coffee was out of the question because it was past six in the evening and I did not want to stay up late. The alternative was a ginger tea or a masala tea and I find both revolting. Now, the way the cafe works is that you go inside the glass enclosure where the till is and order your drink. Then you find a seat either inside the enclosure which is air conditioned or in the seating area outside. When your order is ready, they notify you by (a) Gesticulating wildly in your direction till they catch your eye, (b) By making the busboy shout out your order in heavily accented English, (c) Sending one of the younger staff out to shout the order in less accented English, or if they are nice and the place is empty, (d) One of them brings you your cup of beverage.
The trick is that you do not know which one of the above strategies are going to play out in any specific time. You have to play the long game and wait until the manner of beckoning is revealed. As an anxiety-prone individual with a bunch of mental-health diagnoses and medication, this experience is usually nerve-wracking. Once the game is on, you are left with a very few options. You could either keep looking through the glass at the till to see whether someone is waving at you, or wait for one of them to yell the order for the entire crowd to hear. Sitting in a chair facing away from the till means looking over your shoulder to check whether the staff is signalling at you. Failing this guarantees a yell. If you choose to contain the situation within the limits of vision, you will either have to split your attention between the thing you are reading and your peripheral vision, or keep looking at the counter through the glass, trying your best not to appear as a creep staring at the many people sitting between you and the till.
I strongly feel that the place should adopt a strategy which does not compromise the customer’s privacy—nobody wants others to know that they have ordered a chicken burger with extra cheese and a sugary cup of cold coffee topped with ice cream, whipped cream extra. I for one believe in limiting such knowledge to myself. While there is a perverse pleasure that ogling at people affords, I would rather not lock eyes with the perpetually gruffy girl or the threateningly hyper-masculine hyper-intellectual conquistador.